fuck putting a tealight in a pumpkin. I’m Batman, bitch.
want a bomb ass jack-o-lantern like my shit?
- get yourself a mother fucking pumpkin.
- carve that bitch up any way you god damn well please. (set pumpkin seeds aside to roast them later. tasty as hell and makes your house smell like a fucking yankee candle factory) just make sure you carve the lid large enough to fit a roll of toilet paper.
- when you’re done carving your shit, soak an entire roll of toilet paper in kerosene (or lighter fluid). I recommend pouring about a half a quart of kerosene in a bucket and placing the TP inside, it will absorb within ten minutes or so. I also recommend doing this step outdoors in the shade where there is ventilation.
- when the sun goes down, torch that bitch. the TP will burn slow and flames can get up to 4 feet high. leave the lid off the pumpkin, otherwise it will diminish the flames.
obviously there are a handful of dumb sons of bitches that see something awesome and hurt themselves in the process of recreating. so I’m not even going to tell your stupid ass to keep a bucket of water or working garden hose nearby. if you’re dumb enough to do this without taking proper safety precautions then I hope you catch fire too. remember, a safe thug is a happy thug.
did you try this? show me your carvings. reblog this and attach a picture of your pumpkin.